I watched the movie last Sunday, because I was curious. Haha. I've been playing its PS2 video game for almost a month now and I love it, even though it's really giving me bad headaches. So, one day, when I wasn't doing anything, I thought of watching the movie. And, it actually made me cry, especially at the last part. The part where the title card with the quote above was shown. I never knew that an animated movie would hit me hard. I was actually expecting its message to be more family-related. Well, I guess it is. But, it touched me in every way.

It made me feel guilty. I don't know why. Maybe because I knew that it was meant for me?But, whatever it is, I'm sure this wasn't a coincidence. After all, everything happens with and for a reason.

Anyway, I actually forgot the reason why I am writing this. All I'm saying is, I guess I'm just tired of this, and I really can't find the reasons why I'm hanging on, so I guess I'm just going to let it go. Why prolong the agony? Besides, I don't want this to ruin my life. Again.

I just really hope that this will be the last time that I'll be dealing with this. Like what Walt Disney said, we don't look backwards for very long. I guess that the whole movie was my cue.
And that actually made me smile. It gave me a spark of hope that maybe it's okay after all, that I'd be okay. Happiness is a choice after all. :) How can I not be happy with my life right now? I have every reason to. For one, I'm with my family. I have friends who still show and make me feel that they care even if we're thousands of miles apart. And that's enough, for now. :)

Labels: FEELINGS, HAPPINESS, LOVE, SUMMER, UNEXPECTED

Labels: FAMILY, FEELINGS, LOVE

I am expecting this week to be more busy for me. My mom's coming home next week. And that means that I only have a couple of days left here in the Philippines. I can't believe it. I'm excited but sad, anxious, and scared all at the same time.

Labels: FAMILY, FEELINGS, FRIENDS, LIFE, SUMMER

I need inspiration.

I need something new.

Change of lifestyle, maybe?

I need something to keep me going. But not something that would keep me going just because I have to.

Life is boring right now. and that sucks. I usually am the person who finds inspiration in the littlest of things. Or I guess I was.

And I said that love itself was enough to keep me alive. Every kind of love but that. I know that it's not what I need right now. It's not yet the right time. Not that I'm scared of falling in love. It's just that there's really no one to begin with in the first place.

I haven't found that someone who would make my heart beat like it did before.

I'm just not looking right now. Period. My love life is currently non-existent. Only the Lord knows when it will be revived again.

And until then, I'm putting this heart to rest.

Song for the day: All the Love in the World- The Corrs

Labels: FEELINGS, LOST, LOVE

You don’t have to worry about the time left of your stay here. Things don’t have to end with your departure. And you know what? IT’S OKAY. It’s perfectly okay for me to be friends. In fact, just awhile ago, I was thinking about how I used to go to your house and bond with your family…I MISS THAT. I’m not sure if I should say this because at one point, i know a part of you will hurt…but the truth is, i miss YOU. Even though things are different now, i would not deny that we had happy times together. Both as a couple and as friends.

-Honestly, I really don't know what to say. Days before I wrote that entry, I was asking myself if I was ready for us to be friends again. Or at least to start catching up again on each other's lives. Though, it really hadn't been long enough. Things just happened way too fast. At that time, I know that I wasn't THAT ready yet. Maybe I was just also WAITING for you to tell me that it's okay. Don't worry, your words didn't do me any harm. And yeah, I miss you too. Though you probably already know that.haha.

I don’t really let people go…
–unless they have given up on me and there’s nothing more I can do to change it. But I continue to care even just a little.

-Well, knowing me, you know that I don't really give up on people. I guess I really am not that type of person no matter how hard I try. And just so you know, even if I tell you and the whole world that I'm giving up on you, my actions would always show otherwise. So, what's the point, right? And why would I? No matter how much that hurt, You know I can never give up on you. Dont mid me asking, though, would you want me to give up on you?

To answer your question, I CARE ABOUT YOU. It has always been like that. But there was a time that you got consumed by your pain and anger that you failed or refused(???) to acknowledge that fact.
I care about you a lot.
No one could just throw away 2 years of friendship and love…even though that love and friendship has changed.

-I guess it's because I was so mad at that time, I failed to see or feel that you care about me. This one's on me. I'm sorry. Though, you know that you can't blame me for feeling that.
One month means something, what more pa ang two years, right? Sucks that it changed, that we've changed. But hey, it opened new doors for the both of us. You found your happiness, and I guess I found mine. No more room for regrets, it was worth it.

I know I seem uncaring. You told me once, “Wala ka na pakealam kase masaya ka na” or something like that. But then why do I get tense when I see you from afar? Why do I think about you, whether you’re already okay or not? Why do I read your blog? Why do I anticipate bumping into you in school?

-You do?haha.These made me wonder why. Not that I don't want you too, it's just really making me wonder why. because you care? I believe that. But, maybe you can elaborate next time. I really want to know why, you know. And maybe I'm not making sense anymore at this point.Basta, next time.haha.sorry.

Kahit na hindi tayo naguusap, kahit na hindi ako nakakapagpakita ng concern, I CARE. Part ka ng buhay ko eh.

-Hmm..Thank you. Honestly, I don't know what to say.haha.

I’m actually scared to see you. I’m scared because I might hurt you again just by seeing me. I’m scared that I might be so happy and contented in front of you and there you are, suffering silently. BUT I CHOOSE TO STAY AWAY or limit our contact because you asked for the time to heal. You asked for my absence and I understood and respect that.

-You don't have to be, Kaith. I wanted you to be happy and proud of it. I can never be hurt by something I want. I want you to somehow make me feel that I've done the right thing. Do you get what I mean? Anyway, I just don't want you to hide what you're feeling, whether you are happy or not, because I want to know. Ang daya mo nga eh.haha. You get to read my blog and know what's happening in my life, pero ako, un na nga lang ung way para makita ko kung kamusta ka, ipagkakait mo pa.haha. And keep in mind, I'm not that easy to break anymore.

Ikaw lang naman hinihintay ko eh…
…ung kailan ka ready na makipag-usap ulet na walang ilang.

-I guess by replying to your entry, alam mo na kung anong sagot ko dito.

I don’t want to be the first to make a step because things I do unconsciously may hurt you. I don’t want to make the first step because your family might resent me for bringing you more pain….

-No, they won't. Mom doesn't mind. Plus, they can't do anything about it, nangyari na eh. They just have to accept it.

You also told me, “gusto ko yung pag may kailangan ka o hinanap mo ko eh may effort”. I’m actually hesitant to ask for help because…I don’t want you to feel or think that I’m using you. I don’t want it to seem like i’m only asking for your help because I know you won’t refuse me if you can…or na kinausap lang kita kase may kailangan ako.

-Please naman.haha. I'm the one who offered na eh. Or I guess I'm the one who wants that. You know that I'll be leaving in a couple of months, please make this easier for me. I want to be there for my friends as much as I can. And you, being one of them, means that I got your back too. So, don't hesistate. I'm just waiting for you to ask. I'll try my best to help you with whatever.

That is why i’m waiting. Ayokong magkamali nanaman sa mga kilos ko.

-Had I known. Kung alam ko lang talaga, edi sana di na tayo naghintayan. Oh well, maybe it was destined to be this way. Anyway, I guess let's just make up for lost time? That is, if you are willing and if you want to. It's up to you now.

You don’t have to let people go…
…you can let go of the feeling. You can let go of the pain.

-Yeah. I know I can. It's just a matter of time. I wouldn't say that I have already let go of both. Ayokong mangyari na naman ung dati. All I'm saying is, I don't need to say it out loud to know that I have done it. Pag dumating ung panahon na di ko na tinatanong kung nakapag-move on na ba ako o hindi ay ang panahon na talagang nagawa ko na un. Pag di ko na siya iniisip, pag di ko narealize agad. In short, darating na lang bigla. I haven't moved on. I'm still moving on.

But, I guess that I'm ready enough to let you in my life again. Doing this is actually relieving. Thank you for doing this. :)

Labels: FEELINGS, FRIENDS, LIFE

EURA YUSTE is a seventeen-year old girl who loves ART and MUSIC. She thinks that blogging si not just a theraphy, it's her way of life. She values her family and friends more than herself. She is currently living in one of the hottest places in the world. But, loves MANILA to bits. Writing and fashion are her ways of expression. She hopes that her passion for PHOTOGRAPHY and EVENTS MANAGEMENT will help her pay the bills someday. Wanna knowmore?

I watched the movie last Sunday, because I was curious. Haha. I've been playing its PS2 video game for almost a month now and I love it, even though it's really giving me bad headaches. So, one day, when I wasn't doing anything, I thought of watching the movie. And, it actually made me cry, especially at the last part. The part where the title card with the quote above was shown. I never knew that an animated movie would hit me hard. I was actually expecting its message to be more family-related. Well, I guess it is. But, it touched me in every way.

It made me feel guilty. I don't know why. Maybe because I knew that it was meant for me?But, whatever it is, I'm sure this wasn't a coincidence. After all, everything happens with and for a reason.

Anyway, I actually forgot the reason why I am writing this. All I'm saying is, I guess I'm just tired of this, and I really can't find the reasons why I'm hanging on, so I guess I'm just going to let it go. Why prolong the agony? Besides, I don't want this to ruin my life. Again.

I just really hope that this will be the last time that I'll be dealing with this. Like what Walt Disney said, we don't look backwards for very long. I guess that the whole movie was my cue.
And that actually made me smile. It gave me a spark of hope that maybe it's okay after all, that I'd be okay. Happiness is a choice after all. :) How can I not be happy with my life right now? I have every reason to. For one, I'm with my family. I have friends who still show and make me feel that they care even if we're thousands of miles apart. And that's enough, for now. :)

Labels: FEELINGS, HAPPINESS, LOVE, SUMMER, UNEXPECTED

Labels: FAMILY, FEELINGS, LOVE

I am expecting this week to be more busy for me. My mom's coming home next week. And that means that I only have a couple of days left here in the Philippines. I can't believe it. I'm excited but sad, anxious, and scared all at the same time.

Labels: FAMILY, FEELINGS, FRIENDS, LIFE, SUMMER

I need inspiration.

I need something new.

Change of lifestyle, maybe?

I need something to keep me going. But not something that would keep me going just because I have to.

Life is boring right now. and that sucks. I usually am the person who finds inspiration in the littlest of things. Or I guess I was.

And I said that love itself was enough to keep me alive. Every kind of love but that. I know that it's not what I need right now. It's not yet the right time. Not that I'm scared of falling in love. It's just that there's really no one to begin with in the first place.

I haven't found that someone who would make my heart beat like it did before.

I'm just not looking right now. Period. My love life is currently non-existent. Only the Lord knows when it will be revived again.

And until then, I'm putting this heart to rest.

Song for the day: All the Love in the World- The Corrs

Labels: FEELINGS, LOST, LOVE

You don’t have to worry about the time left of your stay here. Things don’t have to end with your departure. And you know what? IT’S OKAY. It’s perfectly okay for me to be friends. In fact, just awhile ago, I was thinking about how I used to go to your house and bond with your family…I MISS THAT. I’m not sure if I should say this because at one point, i know a part of you will hurt…but the truth is, i miss YOU. Even though things are different now, i would not deny that we had happy times together. Both as a couple and as friends.

-Honestly, I really don't know what to say. Days before I wrote that entry, I was asking myself if I was ready for us to be friends again. Or at least to start catching up again on each other's lives. Though, it really hadn't been long enough. Things just happened way too fast. At that time, I know that I wasn't THAT ready yet. Maybe I was just also WAITING for you to tell me that it's okay. Don't worry, your words didn't do me any harm. And yeah, I miss you too. Though you probably already know that.haha.

I don’t really let people go…
–unless they have given up on me and there’s nothing more I can do to change it. But I continue to care even just a little.

-Well, knowing me, you know that I don't really give up on people. I guess I really am not that type of person no matter how hard I try. And just so you know, even if I tell you and the whole world that I'm giving up on you, my actions would always show otherwise. So, what's the point, right? And why would I? No matter how much that hurt, You know I can never give up on you. Dont mid me asking, though, would you want me to give up on you?

To answer your question, I CARE ABOUT YOU. It has always been like that. But there was a time that you got consumed by your pain and anger that you failed or refused(???) to acknowledge that fact.
I care about you a lot.
No one could just throw away 2 years of friendship and love…even though that love and friendship has changed.

-I guess it's because I was so mad at that time, I failed to see or feel that you care about me. This one's on me. I'm sorry. Though, you know that you can't blame me for feeling that.
One month means something, what more pa ang two years, right? Sucks that it changed, that we've changed. But hey, it opened new doors for the both of us. You found your happiness, and I guess I found mine. No more room for regrets, it was worth it.

I know I seem uncaring. You told me once, “Wala ka na pakealam kase masaya ka na” or something like that. But then why do I get tense when I see you from afar? Why do I think about you, whether you’re already okay or not? Why do I read your blog? Why do I anticipate bumping into you in school?

-You do?haha.These made me wonder why. Not that I don't want you too, it's just really making me wonder why. because you care? I believe that. But, maybe you can elaborate next time. I really want to know why, you know. And maybe I'm not making sense anymore at this point.Basta, next time.haha.sorry.

Kahit na hindi tayo naguusap, kahit na hindi ako nakakapagpakita ng concern, I CARE. Part ka ng buhay ko eh.

-Hmm..Thank you. Honestly, I don't know what to say.haha.

I’m actually scared to see you. I’m scared because I might hurt you again just by seeing me. I’m scared that I might be so happy and contented in front of you and there you are, suffering silently. BUT I CHOOSE TO STAY AWAY or limit our contact because you asked for the time to heal. You asked for my absence and I understood and respect that.

-You don't have to be, Kaith. I wanted you to be happy and proud of it. I can never be hurt by something I want. I want you to somehow make me feel that I've done the right thing. Do you get what I mean? Anyway, I just don't want you to hide what you're feeling, whether you are happy or not, because I want to know. Ang daya mo nga eh.haha. You get to read my blog and know what's happening in my life, pero ako, un na nga lang ung way para makita ko kung kamusta ka, ipagkakait mo pa.haha. And keep in mind, I'm not that easy to break anymore.

Ikaw lang naman hinihintay ko eh…
…ung kailan ka ready na makipag-usap ulet na walang ilang.

-I guess by replying to your entry, alam mo na kung anong sagot ko dito.

I don’t want to be the first to make a step because things I do unconsciously may hurt you. I don’t want to make the first step because your family might resent me for bringing you more pain….

-No, they won't. Mom doesn't mind. Plus, they can't do anything about it, nangyari na eh. They just have to accept it.

You also told me, “gusto ko yung pag may kailangan ka o hinanap mo ko eh may effort”. I’m actually hesitant to ask for help because…I don’t want you to feel or think that I’m using you. I don’t want it to seem like i’m only asking for your help because I know you won’t refuse me if you can…or na kinausap lang kita kase may kailangan ako.

-Please naman.haha. I'm the one who offered na eh. Or I guess I'm the one who wants that. You know that I'll be leaving in a couple of months, please make this easier for me. I want to be there for my friends as much as I can. And you, being one of them, means that I got your back too. So, don't hesistate. I'm just waiting for you to ask. I'll try my best to help you with whatever.

That is why i’m waiting. Ayokong magkamali nanaman sa mga kilos ko.

-Had I known. Kung alam ko lang talaga, edi sana di na tayo naghintayan. Oh well, maybe it was destined to be this way. Anyway, I guess let's just make up for lost time? That is, if you are willing and if you want to. It's up to you now.

You don’t have to let people go…
…you can let go of the feeling. You can let go of the pain.

-Yeah. I know I can. It's just a matter of time. I wouldn't say that I have already let go of both. Ayokong mangyari na naman ung dati. All I'm saying is, I don't need to say it out loud to know that I have done it. Pag dumating ung panahon na di ko na tinatanong kung nakapag-move on na ba ako o hindi ay ang panahon na talagang nagawa ko na un. Pag di ko na siya iniisip, pag di ko narealize agad. In short, darating na lang bigla. I haven't moved on. I'm still moving on.

But, I guess that I'm ready enough to let you in my life again. Doing this is actually relieving. Thank you for doing this. :)

Labels: FEELINGS, FRIENDS, LIFE