awakening

Tuesday, April 14, 2009 9:36 PM

Oh, Plurk. I've missed you. :)

Add me! :) You can also find my widget on

my tagboard page. :)

Sunday, April 12, 2009 4:48 PM

I am expecting this week to be more busy for me. My mom's coming home next week. And that means that I only have a couple of days left here in the Philippines. I can't believe it. I'm excited but sad, anxious, and scared all at the same time.

Of course. It would be selfish of me if I won't feel sad about this whole thing. Though, it was my decision in the first place. No one forced me to do this. I, too, was surprised with my own decision. I never thought that it would cross my mind. But, it did. And even up to now, I am in awe.

I never could explain why I made it. I could, but not in the way that people will understand immediately. I tried, but it wasn't as strong as to how I explained it to my closest friends. And everytime, someone would ask, I would simply say that it's because of my family. I never told them the other reason, because I think that it would be more understandable. And of course, it's easier than any other explanation.

There was a part of me that didn't want to make a big production out of my departure. I simply wanted to leave without saying goodbye. But then again, that would be so selfish. And besides, I can not deny the fact that I would miss everyone. I mean it, everyone. That's what the party is for. To say goodbye.

It's the least I could do, for myself and for those who care about me. I guess I owe them that, maybe even more. And I owe myself as well. Even though, I suck at goodbyes, I would still try my best to do that. Obviously, I don't have a clue on how to. I've been thinking about what words to say and I'm coming up with nothing.

How could you say goodbye to the people you love? How do you leave?

You can't simply board a plane and then tell everyone that you're a thousand miles away, and you don't know if and when you are coming back. That would be the most cruel thing ever.

I'm not that kind of person. I also hate it when people just leave without even explaining or saying goodbye. Hate would be an understatement, but I can't think of another word.

I just don't know what to say, and that is making me really frustrated. I have exactly two weeks to do everything, so I better think fast. But, there's this part of me that wants to just leave it to the exact moment. Maybe it's better if it's an extemporaneous speech rather than a prepared one.

Anyway, I've been having party jitters. I have twelve days left and up until now, there are only about 15 people who have confirmed that they are coming to the party. All in all, plus my relatives, that would be 32 guests. I invited, to be exact, 56 people. It's driving me mad. I want everyone to be there. I can only hope and pray that everything would be okay. I hate feeling anxious.

I've been waiting for this since the day I've decided that this was for the best. And even if it's not, I'm still glad I did.

And you told me that I can let go of the pain, and I am..I will.
..I'm leaving it.

Labels: FAMILY, FEELINGS, FRIENDS, LIFE, SUMMER

Tuesday, April 7, 2009 9:05 PM

I grabbed this from xstuckintraffic. I was bored and this looks like fun, so I went for it. Haha. God bless my soul, and yours too. :) I can't believe that it took me an hour to answer all 12 questions. :)) Anyway,

1. Answer each of the questions below using Flickr Search.
2. Choose a photo from the first three pages.
3. Copy the URL of your favorite photo into this site: http://bighugelabs.com/flickr/mosaic.php.
4. Then share with the world.

Questions:

1. First Name
2. Favorite Food
3. Hometown
4. Favorite Color
5. Celebrity Crush
6. Favorite Drink
7. Dream Vacation
8. Favorite Dessert
9. What I Want To Be When I Grow Up
10. What I Love Most In The World
11. One Word That Describes Me
12. My LiveJournal Name

1. Eura 2. Cheesecake 3. Manila 4. Dark Blue 5. Chace Crawford 6. Starbucks Java Chip 7. Get my skin tanned in Corniche, Abu Dhabi 8. Cupcakes 9. Nina Garcia 10. Music 11. Free Spirit 12. Yes, I do have a LiveJournal Account. But, it's a private one, so I'm not going to post it here. :)

Labels: RANDOM, SUMMER

Monday, April 6, 2009 5:31 PM

I miss it here. I haven't written anything since the last one, simply because there's nothing new. I guess I'm just enjoying the summer. I don't have the time to think about other things. Plus, debut/despedida party planning is sucking my time. Hah. Yeah, right. *sarcasm

But, I know I will write soon enough. I've been meaning to write something worth reading. I guess, I failed.

Aside from the lack of time, I'm not yet in the mood to write. My own thoughts are overwhelming me. I don't know what to write first.

Poor brain.

translate: I wanna go home.

Labels: RANDOM, SUMMER