Labels: LIFE, STARTING OVER

There are a lot of things on my mind right now. And knowing me[if you read my blog], I'm known for writing very long entries. And I'm telling you right now that this is going to be a long one. Read on if you want. I don't care. I just want to write[in this case, type :P] this down for memory's sake. Moving on..

Looking back on the year that is nearing its end, I think about everything that happened. And when I look back, I feel like I'm so far from that person I used to be when I was in high school. I'm so far from that person I used to be a few weeks back. It's funny how people adjust to what's going on in their life without knowing that they are. It's funny how we can lose ourselves to something that we thought will be worth it. But the truth is, there's nothing in this world worthy of losing one's self.

This year, I wasn't able to get a hold of my life. I thought I was, though. I got lost in my own journey, because I let others take the wheel. I thought I was strong enough to let go and just go with the flow. But, I wasn't.

Losing myself is the hardest battle because I have to fight with who I was, who I am and who I want to be. But I kept on fighting. I'll never stop fighting for who I am. But in the end, it all boils down to one, it will always be who I am. Somehow, I know that somewhere deep within me is the person I want to be. And the person that I was will always be remembered.

They said that once we lose ourselves, we have two choices: Find the person we used to be or lose that person completely. I tried the first one. I tried to look for the person I used to be before this all happened. But in the midst of my search, I found nothing. I can't find her anymore. I knew then that she was buried somewhere far away. It cannot be measured by distance but by time. Time took her away.

And with time, I could make things better. I know that I'm not making a mistake here, I'm fixing one. It's time I step out of the person I've been and remember who I am meant to be. It's tragic to lose one's self, and yet I'm still happy I did. I guess they're right. Great things happen from those that scare us the most. It's when you are tested that you find who you truly are and discover who you can be.

This year, I may have lost my way. I got almost everything I wanted and wished for. But in reality, I lost even more. But, I'm willing to go on another journey. I'm going to find my way and gain what I have lost.

In the end, all that matters is you're willingness to drive through life again after all that happened. Keeping in mind the reason for this journey, I know I'll make it through. I will.

Labels: HEARTBREAK, LESSONS, LIFE, LOST

It's Christmas break! :) I've been waiting for this since the start of the semester. :D I feel so drained. A lot of unexpected events happened the past month. And I'm happy that I was able to go through everything. :) Yes, there were dark days. I made a lot of mistakes. But, one thing's for sure, I'm going to make it right this time. There's no space for regrets in my life. :)



Every year, I make a list of predictions for the upcoming year. I was thinking about my predicitions last night. But, I can't think of any. :( So, I won't be doing it this year. :) It's not because I can't think of anything. It's just that I don't want to pattern how my life would be to those predictions. :) I miss being caught off-guard. I miss the little surprises of life. I miss being spontaneous. I miss being me. I used to be like that.



But, I know that I will be spending time to know myself again. I would be having lots of 'me' time. I MISSED THAT A LOT. :) Speaking of 'me' time, I had a date with myself last Saturday. :) It's fun shopping all by yourself. You should try that. :) I bought new clothes and shoes.haha. :)) I also bought the 2009 Belle De Jour Power Planner as a Christmas gift to myself. :) The next day, we went to tiendesitas. :) I bought gifts for my family and friends. :)

ohwell.:) They say the only thing that you will regret in life are those risks you didn't take. I took the risk. I took my chance. There's no room for regrets. :)

okay.super random entry.haha.sorry friends.:P I'll post something worth-reading next time. :) In the meantime, pagbiyan muna ang kabangag-an ko.:P

Labels: LIFE

We went to the CHILD Foundation a while ago. It's a center for children with cancer. It was fun bonding with the people there. :) Estell, Karla, Janine, Edward, Bel and I arrived late. Ang tagal kase ni Bel eh.=)) Di na nga dapat kame tutuloy ni Estell kase nastuck kame sa Divisoria. Tas bigla nameng nalaman na naghihintay pala sila Edward sa UST. Kaya ayun, nakasama pa kame. :) Ang sarap ng feeling na nakatulong ka.

One of the things that I want to do before Christmas is to visit a Charity Foundation. Natupad na siya.:) I feel so happy because I was able to help the kids in my own way, especially Julius, my alaga. He's a 7-yr old suffering from Lymphoma. Mahirap iapproach si Julius. Di siya mahilig makipaginteract gaya nung ibang bata. Pero nung binigyan ko na siya ng toy, nakipagusap na siya sakin. :) Masungit siyang bata. I wanted to hug him but he doesn't want to. :( Tas nung palabas na kame, bigla niyang hinatak ung kamay ko. I was so touched that I almost cried. It reassured me that I made a difference in his life. Napansin kong habang binibilinan ko siya bago kame umalis, naluluha siya. Feeling ko kahit papaano, natouch din siya sa concern ko. Sana naman. Kase talagang napamahal sakin ung batang un kahit sandali lang kame nagkasama. Pero sabe ko naman, babalik ako dun. Gusto ko talagang bumalik.

It's not everyday that we can go to a foundation and help those who are in need. I'm glad I came and I'm proud to be a part of it. :)

I got the title from the painting in the lobby of the center. I have a picture. Pero tamad akong iupload. =)) anyway, the painting says:

One hundred years from now..
it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in,
or the kind of car I drove,
but the world may be different because
I WAS IMPORTANT IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD.

One of the things that I want to do in this world is to make a difference. I hope I did. :)

Labels: ADVENTURES, HAPPINESS

I had my hair cut a while ago!yey!finally!:)) i love itttt.:)



What do you think?:) ooh, btw, i got my NEW GLOBE SIM CARD.:)
Anyway, I'm missing someone right now.: gah.

Labels: HAPPINESS, STARTING OVER

I want a fresh start. A clean slate. I want to start over. This is one of the things I want to do before this year ends. Para pagpasok ng 2009, tada! bagong bago ako!:D

I just feel like I've been stuck in this state for a long time now. And it's not helping me to dwell in here anymore. It's time. I've stayed here longer than I should. It's like staying in a vacant room that was once filled with love. It hurts to watch. It's time I leave this place and start over. It's not doing me any good. It's just making me..numb. Though the time I've spent here helped me realize things, a lot of good things actually, but I feel like I would be able to realize more things if I..move on.

And I think that the purpose of this whole thing is to help me find myself again. I got lost in my own world and those of the people around me, especially in yours, kaith. I forgot who I am and who I am supposed to be. I lost my focus. But I don't have any regrets. The past two years of my life was a blast. I can't see it done in any other way. I can't see myself spending it with anyone else but YOU. But, it's over now and that doesn't mean that my life should be over too. Yours is not, you found your way. So, I should be finding mine too.:)

I'd still be here, I promised you that. I will be here for you when you need me.:)

And, so..I am moving on, on to the next chapter of my life.:) I am closing this now. And I'm happy because I'm giving myself a chance to write a new page in my life again. I'm happy for having this chance again. I'm happy because I realized this before it was too late. I'm happy for having friends who helped me find my way through those dark days. I love you friends!Thank you for putting up with me.:)

Oh, and btw, I'm getting a new haircut.FINALLY!sana matuloy na.:D plus I'm getting a globe sim card.eh kase naman i cant text a lot of people pag sun ako eh.:))okay.ang conyo.:))
kbye.:)

Labels: STARTING OVER

Labels: HEARTBREAK, LOST, LOVE

I love this day. I don't know why. Though it was just a normal day for me. Nothing extraordinary happened today, well, I guess except for the fact that I appreciate this day. I consider that extraordinary.:)

Anyway, I told Estell a while ago how much I miss being a kid. I miss how life used to be so simple back then. And then she told me that maybe if I didn't rush some things like love, then maybe I would have been able to fully appreciate those simple things. I wouldn't call it rushing actually, but I don't know what else to call it. So, I guess I could use the word.haha.:)

I thought about what she said and maybe she was right about that part. Maybe I really did rush love. I had a series of relationships since 5th grade before I had my first real relationship when I was in third year highschool until hmm..4 weeks ago. That lasted for approximately 2 years and 17 days. So, do you think I rushed love?

I would say, yes and no. Yes, because I know that I should not have gotten involved in those relationships as early as 5th grade. I should have waited for at least, highschool to come before I got involved in all those shizz. But, no regrets. What's done is done. And I figured that I wouldn't be the person I am now if it weren't for my past, right? I owe who I am to them. I learned a lot from my experiences. :)

No, because when you're sure that you love someone, you wouldn't think about the timing or the situation, just as long as the person you love is not committed to somebody else. When I said that I was in love with the people I had realtionships with, I cared less about the timing because I know that I wasn't hurting anybody.

You know you're not rushing love if you weren't looking but that person just came into your life and then you realize that you were falling in love already. And to be honest, out of all the relationships that I've had, it was with THAT one person that I felt that way.

So I guess that I did rush love, in a way. Someone once asked me if there was any way that I could turn back time and change my past, what will I change and why. I said I wouldn't change any of it because if things were different, then my life right now would also be different. I wouldn't remove those people I fell in love with in the past[those before my latest], because even if a lot of them ended badly, they were good memories. And I will treasure them forever.:)

Right now, I'm enjoying every minute of the present, reminiscing on the past, and preparing for the future. I want to embrace everything, feel every feeling, remember every memory, love and care for the people around me like there's no tomorrow and live each day as if it were my last. :)
So that when I grow old and think back on the past, I would be able to smile and be happy because I was able to live my life the way I want to. :)

Labels: HAPPINESS, LESSONS

..talking about love.it's not that i don't want to talk about it.it's just that i want to take a break from talking about it. i know that i have been talking about it for a long time now and i think that it's already time to stop or at least, lie low. so, there.:)


Since, this year is about to end, i usually post a wishlist for christmas. But, this year, i think i want to post a list of things that i wanna do that i haven't done yet.:)I realized that I only want one thing for christmas, so I don't see the point of writing a list.haha. And for the sake of doing something different.

I also want to post a list of things that I want to do before I turn 18, because I will be turning 18 next year.:)

As of the moment, Im thinking about my list for christmas. I dont know what to call it yet.haha.any ideas?

I really hope that I can do all of them. This would be the best christmas ever if i will be able to accomplish them.:)

anyway, ive got to hit the sack now.im tired from all the arnis crap we did today.haha.but i enjoyed it.its the best stress-reliever.:) goodnight friends.:)

oh.before i forget, es and i are planning to open a blog about us.it will include our 365 project.it will be a photoblog.we will be posting pictures that we took that day.:) anyway, i will explain next time.haha.:)im soooo tired.

kbye.:)

Labels: LIFE

EURA YUSTE is a seventeen-year old girl who loves ART and MUSIC. She thinks that blogging si not just a theraphy, it's her way of life. She values her family and friends more than herself. She is currently living in one of the hottest places in the world. But, loves MANILA to bits. Writing and fashion are her ways of expression. She hopes that her passion for PHOTOGRAPHY and EVENTS MANAGEMENT will help her pay the bills someday. Wanna knowmore?

Labels: LIFE, STARTING OVER

There are a lot of things on my mind right now. And knowing me[if you read my blog], I'm known for writing very long entries. And I'm telling you right now that this is going to be a long one. Read on if you want. I don't care. I just want to write[in this case, type :P] this down for memory's sake. Moving on..

Looking back on the year that is nearing its end, I think about everything that happened. And when I look back, I feel like I'm so far from that person I used to be when I was in high school. I'm so far from that person I used to be a few weeks back. It's funny how people adjust to what's going on in their life without knowing that they are. It's funny how we can lose ourselves to something that we thought will be worth it. But the truth is, there's nothing in this world worthy of losing one's self.

This year, I wasn't able to get a hold of my life. I thought I was, though. I got lost in my own journey, because I let others take the wheel. I thought I was strong enough to let go and just go with the flow. But, I wasn't.

Losing myself is the hardest battle because I have to fight with who I was, who I am and who I want to be. But I kept on fighting. I'll never stop fighting for who I am. But in the end, it all boils down to one, it will always be who I am. Somehow, I know that somewhere deep within me is the person I want to be. And the person that I was will always be remembered.

They said that once we lose ourselves, we have two choices: Find the person we used to be or lose that person completely. I tried the first one. I tried to look for the person I used to be before this all happened. But in the midst of my search, I found nothing. I can't find her anymore. I knew then that she was buried somewhere far away. It cannot be measured by distance but by time. Time took her away.

And with time, I could make things better. I know that I'm not making a mistake here, I'm fixing one. It's time I step out of the person I've been and remember who I am meant to be. It's tragic to lose one's self, and yet I'm still happy I did. I guess they're right. Great things happen from those that scare us the most. It's when you are tested that you find who you truly are and discover who you can be.

This year, I may have lost my way. I got almost everything I wanted and wished for. But in reality, I lost even more. But, I'm willing to go on another journey. I'm going to find my way and gain what I have lost.

In the end, all that matters is you're willingness to drive through life again after all that happened. Keeping in mind the reason for this journey, I know I'll make it through. I will.

Labels: HEARTBREAK, LESSONS, LIFE, LOST

It's Christmas break! :) I've been waiting for this since the start of the semester. :D I feel so drained. A lot of unexpected events happened the past month. And I'm happy that I was able to go through everything. :) Yes, there were dark days. I made a lot of mistakes. But, one thing's for sure, I'm going to make it right this time. There's no space for regrets in my life. :)



Every year, I make a list of predictions for the upcoming year. I was thinking about my predicitions last night. But, I can't think of any. :( So, I won't be doing it this year. :) It's not because I can't think of anything. It's just that I don't want to pattern how my life would be to those predictions. :) I miss being caught off-guard. I miss the little surprises of life. I miss being spontaneous. I miss being me. I used to be like that.



But, I know that I will be spending time to know myself again. I would be having lots of 'me' time. I MISSED THAT A LOT. :) Speaking of 'me' time, I had a date with myself last Saturday. :) It's fun shopping all by yourself. You should try that. :) I bought new clothes and shoes.haha. :)) I also bought the 2009 Belle De Jour Power Planner as a Christmas gift to myself. :) The next day, we went to tiendesitas. :) I bought gifts for my family and friends. :)

ohwell.:) They say the only thing that you will regret in life are those risks you didn't take. I took the risk. I took my chance. There's no room for regrets. :)

okay.super random entry.haha.sorry friends.:P I'll post something worth-reading next time. :) In the meantime, pagbiyan muna ang kabangag-an ko.:P

Labels: LIFE

We went to the CHILD Foundation a while ago. It's a center for children with cancer. It was fun bonding with the people there. :) Estell, Karla, Janine, Edward, Bel and I arrived late. Ang tagal kase ni Bel eh.=)) Di na nga dapat kame tutuloy ni Estell kase nastuck kame sa Divisoria. Tas bigla nameng nalaman na naghihintay pala sila Edward sa UST. Kaya ayun, nakasama pa kame. :) Ang sarap ng feeling na nakatulong ka.

One of the things that I want to do before Christmas is to visit a Charity Foundation. Natupad na siya.:) I feel so happy because I was able to help the kids in my own way, especially Julius, my alaga. He's a 7-yr old suffering from Lymphoma. Mahirap iapproach si Julius. Di siya mahilig makipaginteract gaya nung ibang bata. Pero nung binigyan ko na siya ng toy, nakipagusap na siya sakin. :) Masungit siyang bata. I wanted to hug him but he doesn't want to. :( Tas nung palabas na kame, bigla niyang hinatak ung kamay ko. I was so touched that I almost cried. It reassured me that I made a difference in his life. Napansin kong habang binibilinan ko siya bago kame umalis, naluluha siya. Feeling ko kahit papaano, natouch din siya sa concern ko. Sana naman. Kase talagang napamahal sakin ung batang un kahit sandali lang kame nagkasama. Pero sabe ko naman, babalik ako dun. Gusto ko talagang bumalik.

It's not everyday that we can go to a foundation and help those who are in need. I'm glad I came and I'm proud to be a part of it. :)

I got the title from the painting in the lobby of the center. I have a picture. Pero tamad akong iupload. =)) anyway, the painting says:

One hundred years from now..
it will not matter what my bank account was,
the sort of house I lived in,
or the kind of car I drove,
but the world may be different because
I WAS IMPORTANT IN THE LIFE OF A CHILD.

One of the things that I want to do in this world is to make a difference. I hope I did. :)

Labels: ADVENTURES, HAPPINESS

I had my hair cut a while ago!yey!finally!:)) i love itttt.:)



What do you think?:) ooh, btw, i got my NEW GLOBE SIM CARD.:)
Anyway, I'm missing someone right now.: gah.

Labels: HAPPINESS, STARTING OVER

I want a fresh start. A clean slate. I want to start over. This is one of the things I want to do before this year ends. Para pagpasok ng 2009, tada! bagong bago ako!:D

I just feel like I've been stuck in this state for a long time now. And it's not helping me to dwell in here anymore. It's time. I've stayed here longer than I should. It's like staying in a vacant room that was once filled with love. It hurts to watch. It's time I leave this place and start over. It's not doing me any good. It's just making me..numb. Though the time I've spent here helped me realize things, a lot of good things actually, but I feel like I would be able to realize more things if I..move on.

And I think that the purpose of this whole thing is to help me find myself again. I got lost in my own world and those of the people around me, especially in yours, kaith. I forgot who I am and who I am supposed to be. I lost my focus. But I don't have any regrets. The past two years of my life was a blast. I can't see it done in any other way. I can't see myself spending it with anyone else but YOU. But, it's over now and that doesn't mean that my life should be over too. Yours is not, you found your way. So, I should be finding mine too.:)

I'd still be here, I promised you that. I will be here for you when you need me.:)

And, so..I am moving on, on to the next chapter of my life.:) I am closing this now. And I'm happy because I'm giving myself a chance to write a new page in my life again. I'm happy for having this chance again. I'm happy because I realized this before it was too late. I'm happy for having friends who helped me find my way through those dark days. I love you friends!Thank you for putting up with me.:)

Oh, and btw, I'm getting a new haircut.FINALLY!sana matuloy na.:D plus I'm getting a globe sim card.eh kase naman i cant text a lot of people pag sun ako eh.:))okay.ang conyo.:))
kbye.:)

Labels: STARTING OVER

Labels: HEARTBREAK, LOST, LOVE

I love this day. I don't know why. Though it was just a normal day for me. Nothing extraordinary happened today, well, I guess except for the fact that I appreciate this day. I consider that extraordinary.:)

Anyway, I told Estell a while ago how much I miss being a kid. I miss how life used to be so simple back then. And then she told me that maybe if I didn't rush some things like love, then maybe I would have been able to fully appreciate those simple things. I wouldn't call it rushing actually, but I don't know what else to call it. So, I guess I could use the word.haha.:)

I thought about what she said and maybe she was right about that part. Maybe I really did rush love. I had a series of relationships since 5th grade before I had my first real relationship when I was in third year highschool until hmm..4 weeks ago. That lasted for approximately 2 years and 17 days. So, do you think I rushed love?

I would say, yes and no. Yes, because I know that I should not have gotten involved in those relationships as early as 5th grade. I should have waited for at least, highschool to come before I got involved in all those shizz. But, no regrets. What's done is done. And I figured that I wouldn't be the person I am now if it weren't for my past, right? I owe who I am to them. I learned a lot from my experiences. :)

No, because when you're sure that you love someone, you wouldn't think about the timing or the situation, just as long as the person you love is not committed to somebody else. When I said that I was in love with the people I had realtionships with, I cared less about the timing because I know that I wasn't hurting anybody.

You know you're not rushing love if you weren't looking but that person just came into your life and then you realize that you were falling in love already. And to be honest, out of all the relationships that I've had, it was with THAT one person that I felt that way.

So I guess that I did rush love, in a way. Someone once asked me if there was any way that I could turn back time and change my past, what will I change and why. I said I wouldn't change any of it because if things were different, then my life right now would also be different. I wouldn't remove those people I fell in love with in the past[those before my latest], because even if a lot of them ended badly, they were good memories. And I will treasure them forever.:)

Right now, I'm enjoying every minute of the present, reminiscing on the past, and preparing for the future. I want to embrace everything, feel every feeling, remember every memory, love and care for the people around me like there's no tomorrow and live each day as if it were my last. :)
So that when I grow old and think back on the past, I would be able to smile and be happy because I was able to live my life the way I want to. :)

Labels: HAPPINESS, LESSONS

..talking about love.it's not that i don't want to talk about it.it's just that i want to take a break from talking about it. i know that i have been talking about it for a long time now and i think that it's already time to stop or at least, lie low. so, there.:)


Since, this year is about to end, i usually post a wishlist for christmas. But, this year, i think i want to post a list of things that i wanna do that i haven't done yet.:)I realized that I only want one thing for christmas, so I don't see the point of writing a list.haha. And for the sake of doing something different.

I also want to post a list of things that I want to do before I turn 18, because I will be turning 18 next year.:)

As of the moment, Im thinking about my list for christmas. I dont know what to call it yet.haha.any ideas?

I really hope that I can do all of them. This would be the best christmas ever if i will be able to accomplish them.:)

anyway, ive got to hit the sack now.im tired from all the arnis crap we did today.haha.but i enjoyed it.its the best stress-reliever.:) goodnight friends.:)

oh.before i forget, es and i are planning to open a blog about us.it will include our 365 project.it will be a photoblog.we will be posting pictures that we took that day.:) anyway, i will explain next time.haha.:)im soooo tired.

kbye.:)

Labels: LIFE