Before anything else, I would like to greet all of you a happy new year! :) I've been waiting for this day to come. Can you smell my excitement for this year?You just can't see it, but I'm jumping up and down right now. :P kidding. :)

I've been surfing the net a lot these days, because I'd rather surf than do my plates. Yes, I know I'm very lazy as of the moment. But I did some of them earlier this week. I'm just really not in the mood to do anything school-related.

Last night, before going to sleep, I did my tradition. I wrote my predictions for this year. I was actually able to come up with 18 predictions. I thought I wouldn't be able to do so. Anyway, there's this part there where I wrote that this year I would be true to myself and to others. That's why I'm doing this.

I told myself that I would be having a lot of 'me' time this vacation, and I did. It was fun. I was also able to bond with my family and other close relatives. It felt good to be able to have time for my family and for myself. Yes, I was happy. I am happy. I was able to do a lot, spend a lot, shop a lot, eat a lot, sleep a lot, get drunk a lot..and so on. But at the end of every single day..

It's still you that I'm thinking of. It's still you that I dream about every night that it makes me want to stay awake because I don't want to dream of you. It's still your text messages that I want to read every time my phone vibrates. It's still you who holds this heart.

And I hate to say it aloud. I don't want my friends to know about this. I don't want them to think that I'm still that same girl because I'm not. I'm not the same person. I can never be that person I was with you. I'm alone. And sometimes it sucks. No matter how happy it makes me feel to be able to do a lot of things that I don't do before, sometimes I miss having someone. I miss having you.

I've read somewhere that sometimes we have to be alone for us to know what we really want in life. Maybe I'm just really not used to it yet. They say that happiness comes from within. And yes, I found that happiness within me and believe me, it feels good. I don't want to rush. I know that I still have a lot of things to know about myself. And I'm willing to make time for that. That's why I'm thankful for this year, because I'm given the chance to live my life the way I want to. The best part about every year is that we get to have a lot of chances again. And this time, I won't let them pass me by.

I'm just so confused. I don't know what I want. I can't even cry to let this out. And it scares me a lot. That is one thing, though. I'm scared. This is one thing I am sure of. Maybe I'm really messed up. I really can't explain. I want to be strong for myself so that I wouldn't be falling apart like this anymore. I'm so unstable right now.

Labels: HEARTBREAK

EURA YUSTE is a seventeen-year old girl who loves ART and MUSIC. She thinks that blogging si not just a theraphy, it's her way of life. She values her family and friends more than herself. She is currently living in one of the hottest places in the world. But, loves MANILA to bits. Writing and fashion are her ways of expression. She hopes that her passion for PHOTOGRAPHY and EVENTS MANAGEMENT will help her pay the bills someday. Wanna knowmore?

Before anything else, I would like to greet all of you a happy new year! :) I've been waiting for this day to come. Can you smell my excitement for this year?You just can't see it, but I'm jumping up and down right now. :P kidding. :)

I've been surfing the net a lot these days, because I'd rather surf than do my plates. Yes, I know I'm very lazy as of the moment. But I did some of them earlier this week. I'm just really not in the mood to do anything school-related.

Last night, before going to sleep, I did my tradition. I wrote my predictions for this year. I was actually able to come up with 18 predictions. I thought I wouldn't be able to do so. Anyway, there's this part there where I wrote that this year I would be true to myself and to others. That's why I'm doing this.

I told myself that I would be having a lot of 'me' time this vacation, and I did. It was fun. I was also able to bond with my family and other close relatives. It felt good to be able to have time for my family and for myself. Yes, I was happy. I am happy. I was able to do a lot, spend a lot, shop a lot, eat a lot, sleep a lot, get drunk a lot..and so on. But at the end of every single day..

It's still you that I'm thinking of. It's still you that I dream about every night that it makes me want to stay awake because I don't want to dream of you. It's still your text messages that I want to read every time my phone vibrates. It's still you who holds this heart.

And I hate to say it aloud. I don't want my friends to know about this. I don't want them to think that I'm still that same girl because I'm not. I'm not the same person. I can never be that person I was with you. I'm alone. And sometimes it sucks. No matter how happy it makes me feel to be able to do a lot of things that I don't do before, sometimes I miss having someone. I miss having you.

I've read somewhere that sometimes we have to be alone for us to know what we really want in life. Maybe I'm just really not used to it yet. They say that happiness comes from within. And yes, I found that happiness within me and believe me, it feels good. I don't want to rush. I know that I still have a lot of things to know about myself. And I'm willing to make time for that. That's why I'm thankful for this year, because I'm given the chance to live my life the way I want to. The best part about every year is that we get to have a lot of chances again. And this time, I won't let them pass me by.

I'm just so confused. I don't know what I want. I can't even cry to let this out. And it scares me a lot. That is one thing, though. I'm scared. This is one thing I am sure of. Maybe I'm really messed up. I really can't explain. I want to be strong for myself so that I wouldn't be falling apart like this anymore. I'm so unstable right now.

Labels: HEARTBREAK